YAY, summer is finally here and you can almost hear the festival crowd roar. Sun, music, good times and, oh… wait. Smelly loos. Yikes.
If you’re not lucky enough to experience our beautiful and spotless ZooLoos, these top tips should be your go-to guide before you even think about throwing in the tent:
1. Wear protective clothing
Suns out, guns out, yes, yes. But don’t be foolish and wear your tank top and flip flops inside the loos. Really, don’t. You just can’t risk the splash back. Speaking of which, we recommend covering your feet with plastic bags, wellies, or even waders. Does it sound like we’re joking?
2. Time management rules
Your favourite band just finished their set and you’re literally dying for a wee. Now is not the best time to start queuing, as hoards of fellow mud-goers have already beaten you to it. Plan your pees precisely (try saying that after a few ciders) and if you can time them well after those ciders, you’re a wee festival ledge.
3. Get up and goIf you’re an early riser, you have this in the bag. Festival loos tend to be cleaned first thing, so head over at the crack of dawn for a peaceful, slightly cleaner, fresher loo experience. Plus, the sooner yesterday’s toxins are gone, the sooner you can get back on it.
4. Bring the essentials
Go on, treat yourself. Oh look, those triple velvet loo rolls are even on offer. We can’t stress how important it is to BYO bog roll, as you just know those loos won’t be topped up. Why not go wild with scented tissues, or a coating of aloe vera for extra lush.
5. Clean up after yourself
We’re all in this together, so be a sweet and leave the loo in the same state you found it, or even shinier if you’re a magic fairy. Sweat, sun and lots of shoulder rubbing in crowds creates a lovely home for bugs, so make sure you take anti-bac and use it often.
6. Avoid bad food hygiene
Festival food can be a little daunting, so stick to what you know. Avoid spicy food and food or drink that’ll curdle. Food your belly isn’t used to is a recipe for disaster… You’ll never look at a loo the same way again. Respect your bowels, otherwise it could really backfire…
7. Keep your distance
It’s important to set up your camp and plan your route to the loos. But don’t be tempted to camp next to them for easy access, as rain can soon make things rise and guess who’s in the firing line… Plus the smell, I can assure you, will become unbearable at times.
8. See sense
Just settled in for the night, snug in your sleeping bag? Oh no, the wee goblins have snuck up on you! Stumbling out your tent, all you see is darkness… Good job you brought a torch to get you out of this sticky situation. Try a wind-up one if you’re keen on creating your own energy (this isn’t a wind-up).
There you have it, our guide to surviving festival loos. It’s not so bad is it? *Splutter* If you’re breaking out in cold sweats just reading this, check out our ZooLoos Powder Room pass. Pristine loos, steamy showers, chill out areas to rest your tired soles and make-up tents to stay classy, however wild the party.
Make the right choice this festival season. ZooLoos: It’s only natural. Find out where we’re heading this summer.